Emotion is lame.

when I'm upset i walk outside and expect the trees to snap in half when i wave my hand and for the ocean to scream.
for the wind to whip me into the air and blow away those want to hug me and for explosions of remorse to erupt in the minds of those who don't understand

i demand a hurricane when I'm sad.

but God has never given me one.

when i was little, teenage boys were basically gods. they could lift me as if i was nothing, make cars move fast and move themselves much faster than i ever could, stood as tall as trees and played games where they ran into each other and didn't even cry when it happened.

they never cried.
even when they broke their arms, fell of their bikes, or broke their moms' vases,
they never cried,

or so i thought...

so finally when i was old enough for my friends to be teenage boys but young enough to still strongly believe what i knew to be true years ago, i asked
"when was the last time you cried."

he looked up at the sky, sighed, and replied,

"last week."

Last Summer And Past Friday Nights.

I miss the days where texting any guy nerve racking.

where i would go the park to swing and blush about some boy telling me my shirt looked nice and brag to an invisible audience about how I was going to marry Hiro Nakamora.

the days where I would be crushed when he didn't text me back.

the days where i thought i was alone and will forever be alone.

I miss those days.

I remember being hurt.

But I remember feeling whole.

I remember feeling like I didn't need anyone else.

i remember all of us feeling like this.

now we're all in a relationships except for those who are actually strong on their own.

we have all of other people making us whole.

what made us so needy?

we fight to grow up but all we do when we get there is jump into another house and in another family like the one we came from.

we fight to move in a faster circle.

Especially When It's In Boxes.

I love juice.

that's probably the one thing that stays the same with whoever i'm around.

 No matter who you are, i love juice.

That and someother things too,

but i'm pretty sure it's just that.

sour, sour, gone.

she's like a cake that's mainly frosting.

a winning smile on the person you hate.

cologne sprayed on a boy who needed a shower hours ago.

faint radio static

she's like a small stain on your favorite shirt.

a bad cover of your favorite song.

it's pretty on top but it doesn't take much to find mud in a flower bed.


_______________________________________________

I see your arm around a girl that i don't know and i'm like frick yoooo-oo-oou.
i guess that i just wasn't enough and i'm like frick yooo-oo-oou.

oo-oo!

__________________________
no really...

*bleep* you! You jerkbutt!

no teenager has no time to send a freaking text!

and you know what's stupid!!!

the fact that you played me! like that guitar you brought to camp!
like that game you play with that stupid ball that i liked so much!

you're dumb!
to think i actually cried over you!!!
that i actually made you a big deal!!

you with you stupid little asian face!

you stupid little jerk!!!!

you're mean!!

i'm so dumb for falling for your crap!

-_______________-

you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons.



  

I just want you all to be ok.