Monday, January 30, 2012

So I Wrote Without Stopping.

And I want nothing more than to scream in your face and tell you to look at me, nothing more than for you to look at me as if you see me!

I waited for you, but you never came. As I sat in that park, on that night, with that jacket on, with that phone in my hand, with that promise you made.

I MISSED YOU!

But you didn’t care. You didn’t see! as much as I wanted you to, as much as I prayed you would, you saw NOTHING.

Well I'll give you that you tried but when it came to show it, you had nothing to show for it.

"Mister, I tell you to open up your eyes and see me like I see you.
As colorful as I see the sky, as colorful as I see an eye."

But I...you missed it...You missed it...You missed it...You missed it.

Now he must have taught you a lot about life and how not to live it.

He drank the world most people love away.

who would want to do that?

What makes the world so ugly that you don’t want to see it?

That’s life?! Life is a lot nicer then you put it out to be.

missing.

"Mister, You there! Sir? Do you see? Can you see me?"
Or can you only see him? Am I too small?

Don’t you tell me that I don’t need you. Don’t tell me that you don’t need me.

We all need everyone, our prides just refuse to see it.
___________________________

”What is it that I am suppose to be seeing?”

"Everything" I reply.

"But how can you see everything? I surely don’t have the time."

The time?

the resourses?

The will.

The will to do anything at all.

where does this time go?

Where does it all go?

God, Father, Lord, Jesus
where does it all go?
Where do WE go?
Where do I go?
Where is HE going?
Where is SHE going?

WHY?

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY NEEDED YOU TO BE WHAT YOUR NAME IMPLIES?

Surly with all your power you can answer these questions.
Now why does it seem like you can’t?
__________________________

I don’t understand them?
No, I understand them perfectly they just don’t understand me.

Did you see that?
___________________________

I love you.

like I love a flower but a little flower dies in a matter of a week.

...You're no flower.

you're not going to die in a week.

you're hardly a flower,

you're a boy.
______________________

Friday, January 20, 2012

he would be dandy.

not the "sun glasses" kind of cool they show in movies.

no, not like that, anything but that.

he's simply dandy.

like beanies, and guitars,
cute puppies, and fat lazy cats.

like top ramen in the winter, nerdy love stories in the dark,
like sitting in wal-mart on a summer night, like being too weak to push the car that ran out of gas because you're laughing too hard, like talking at 2:30 in the morning about nothing at all,

like being in a mosh pit and throwing down like no one cares, like a bassist giving it his all, like a brake down that's can't be described as anything but beautiful.

like happy lightening when you see that name in your inbox.

he would be dandy.

_____________________________

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

what i want to say when nothing seems to come out.


hi.

I love basses, I play the piano, guitar, banjo, and I own a ukulele.

I longboard when ever I can. I wear long, fuzzy, tan socks when I wear my lace up boots, and fold up the legs of my skinny jeans with any other shoe I wear.

I love sweaters, sweatshirts, beanies, piercings, tattoos, beards, and fancy hair styles.

I know about and listen to bands you've never even heard of and seen them live.

I want to get a degree in music when I'm older and to move to Seattle, next to a coffee shop that sells good hot coco, next my favorite book store.

I love anime. And I adore goldfish, and foxes, and thick black glasses.

I can draw, I paint stuff for my church a lot during the summer with my friends.

I love the ocean, tidal waves, boats, and anchors are my favorite thing to draw.
I love shopping, and being with people i like.

I love going to see movies, horror films are my favorite.

(as long as i have a pillow to cover my face when the bad guy stands the corner of the room)

I love a cute love story every once and awhile.

I love Asian poeple and things, if I could go to one place in he world it would be japan.

(Or just china town in Seattle, So I could go to Ireland instead)


My best friend is 18. I'll be turning 16 in may.

I don't know about dating but I love holding hands, hugs, and sitting in the dark talking about things that make us blush.

I don't hate people most of the time, I love them.
even If they're gay.

I'm just shy that's all, so that's why I don't talk to any of you.

(and it's also because I hate small talk I don't know why)

but I do really want to be your friend and hang out with you.
So when are you open?

Maybe we can catch a movie? get some pho? bubble tea? smoothie? walk In the park? sit and talk about life in my basement?

Whatever you want.

Text me sometime.

maybe we could be friends.
_________________________

Monday, January 16, 2012

probably just fine.


in that brown house, in the Brown house.

there's deep cracks all over the inside of that house.

I can feel it creaking like the titanic before it SANK.


someone's going to drown if the cracks continue to grow, and i scared that it might be you.

...but you're probably just fine...

__________________________

i know nothing about who you are and that worries me. I doubt you'll ever let me in.

it's nothing personal. I'm just watching too many people fall apart to take chances.

...but you're probably just fine...
_______________________

you'll let me in the door of that house without to much trouble but nothing more.

i blame myself for that. if only i was more friendly, or at least prettier.

...but you're probably just fine...

________________________________

i worry about you, i do.
I'm so scared that you'll fall apart one day and I'll only get to hear about it from the people who you let watch.


i don't want you to be like the people you've seen grow old.

...but you're probably just fine...

__________________________


I'VE TRIED TO BE YOUR FRIEND,

and you've tried to be mine.

but the timing was always wrong and that little bridge always burned down while at least one of us was still standing on it.


I think that i could help you

but then i think about it for a second longer and i realize that you're...

____________________

the world is tilted

the world has tilted, it's made the horses upset.

the world has tilted, it's made me frantic to catch the glass.

the world has tilted, it's made sweet become bitter.

the world has tilted, it's made the glass brake.

the world has tilted, it's made things different.

the world has tilted, it's made friends become less.

the world has tilted, it's made everyone to change.

the world is tilting and you can't stop it!
________________________

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

It's hard.

Please. Just bare with me

You mean so much.

I want to keep you.
I want you to be there when I need you.

But...


It's so hard, nothing makes sense. I just want it to make sense.

Can we just be normal?

I'm tired and I'm done talking about it. Goodnight.

Monday, January 2, 2012

What Savanna Wrote About Me

I'm Sorry Nobody Is Honest In This Town


And you would all have her feet on the ground, her head down bobbing among the crowds--but this kid is meant for the skies, her entire body up in the clouds...

She hopes for a man who can appreciate her passions, someone with gauges in his ears and nice hair and maybe some guitar callouses on his fingers.


I feel like it's okay for her to want that. It's her future. It's her life.

It doesn't have to be anything like yours; you should be praying it's even more.

She dreams greater than you ever will. The places she goes while standing still are better than any vacation destination you can get to. She's got a good, beautiful head on her shoulders.

Her heart is bigger than she realizes. The world goes for people like that (in a fang-to-throat sort of way.) She's vulnerable beneath her indie-punk exterior. And that's okay: it's wonderful to be so innocently breakable...

I want to protect her, but it's not my heart to guard.

She likes the parks and the playgrounds. Swinging makes her feel like she can fly, even after you've all clipped her wings.


Let her go, let her be in the places she's happy so that she can come home and respectfully bear your pecking, because one day she'll break out of the cages and you might just lose her, she may not come back.People would have her believe she's odd, that she doesn't fit in.

People would have her think that it's normal and fine to have hopes and never see them through.

"Dreams are harmless as long as you don't expect them to come true."


They would all like her to keep those feet on the ground, so one day she can come all the way down and marry a suit and be a mother for two and a half kids and maybe just idly strum her guitar on the weekends. People would tell her that that's life, settling, settling down.

They all just envy the girl who can soar so much higher than they can

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