Oh busy, busy bee,
Walking to and fro.
What if we close our eyes?
What if we don't wake up?
Oh busy, busy bee,
Walking to and fro.
What if we close our eyes?
What if we don't wake up?
Oh busy, busy bee,
Walking to and fro.
What if we close our eyes?
What if we don't wake up?

I had drawn you a new bird.



One of the old ones that I had always drawn, but with an added beak.











But the wings didn't look right, and the paper was crinkled...



I couldn't give it to you.

Cuts, burns, and scrapes.

Oh look; she has them too.

In all honesty, they are so pretty to me.
On everyone, they're beautiful.

But they weren't there two summers ago. None of theirs were.


What happened from then to now?


All of them, each one of them, probably has it's own story.

Both of you.

What have I done to you that wasn't worth praise?

Was I ever not there for you?

Have I ever done anything to hurt you?

Have I been unkind to you?

Have I ever not apologized for something that needed it?

Have I ever forgot to thank you for being kind?

Have I ever not tried to understand?





I don't care anymore about this outcome.



I'll be your Giving Tree, I don't mind.

_________________________________


Do you have any idea how much I've cried over you?

Do you have any idea how much I've worried over that heart that you ripped out of your chest?


You don't know how resentful I get when I remember that you don't even know who Dan Smith is, or what a breakdown is, or what an Em chord is, what drop D means, what songs that I love, what songs you love and why, why we wear what we wear, why I gaged my ears, why I love foxes, the way I like to draw birds,

...etc.

but that's old news.



I know you're smart, but I know you more than you know yourself, and more than you'll know me or anyone like me.

You don't understand how hard I'm trying for this not to end up like everyone else's failures before me.




P.S

"you are smart, you are kind, you are important."


(I doubt you've seen the movie where this is from but it suits you)

A child in this back yard with a box of matches, an angry glint is his eyes, a pile of sticks. He imagines creating a forest fire.

 Match after broken match

Listen. 


Just because you've had all this "life experience" doesn't mean that it has made you better. More knowledgeable maybe, but not better.
 (you haven't changed)

 I hope you understand that.





As naive as I am. Or as I may seem,

I'm not even a year younger than you.

you're not very humble, are you?





you're just a kid.







you know, I still can never talk to you the way I want to. I can never fully tell what I actually think about what has happened in the past.

It's all so hard to say. It seems so unimportant sometimes.

I doubt I could get through it without crying anyway.




I poured out so much of myself worrying about you.


 Wasted effort, all of it. I know. But at least I was there.




But what would I know?

oh home.

I was having a great day until that song ended and I looked to the swing next to me.





I should've kept looking at the sky.

"they're howling for answers no wolf could know."

That's not how "breaking up" works.

I kissed your cheek, you kissed mine. I hugged you, you hugged me back. we laughed, we actually had a good time.

"we're terrible"

no, we're weak.

I can't help but hug you and stare at you.

Maybe it's lust.

....that kind of damages my "maybe I'm asexual" theory.




I just want to sit on my couch and play video games with you, go for an adventure to the woods, or talk about colors and have you say something other than "yeah it's really cool."

But maybe it's not even you that I want to do that with! Maybe I'm just lonely.

I just want a f-cking hand to hold! And someone will have me listen to bands I've never heard before!



I fell in love with the feeling of being in like!





Relationships are poop.

but It'd still be nice to have someone to hold hands with, or to sit close to when we're watching movies.


I just want more sweaters.  A sweater can fix everything.